Friday, March 6, 2009
The week was so much easier than I imagined it would be. At first, exhilaration at the ease of being a stay-at-home-single-style-mom (without-dating-privileges!). Then disappointment: no challenge, no mountain to climb, no parenting cliffs to scale. And then: sleep by 8:30, it was enough work after all.
What didn't help is that I bought a new kind of tea. It looked black. It didn't say "no caffeine." So when I took a couple of accidental naps, I assumed the obvious: cancer, MS, deep depression with suppressed emotional symptoms. Lo and behold! Careful reading of the label found that if my regular tea is 5/10 on the scale of caffeine, this new stuff was 1/10! Why? Why make such tea? No medicinal value. No caffeine. What's the point?
I think Huck had a fine week at work but was surprised by how much he missed his family. Ahhhh. We'll trek to Spokane this weekend to reunite!
I hired a babysitter twice for evening events. Both meetings fed my soul full. Worth every penny of the babysitter's price.
For however backwards Wenatchee can sometimes seem, it's got some amazing people and one killer Unitarian Church.
I tried to join the PTA here, but got de-listed when the leaders found out I might not be around forever. These were nice ladies that befriended me during the summer. But when the "shit hit the fan," they told other PTA organizers to take my name off the things I'd volunteered for because I didn't know if I'd be there forever. They were compassionate, but not helpful.
Another person that I befriended early on was very clear that she did not want to be friends with people whose lives were unorganized. She was too delicate and just couldn't handle it.
I want to kiss and thank these people. Because of their attitudes about life and stability and their delusions about their own life certainties, I can appreciate the maturity of others all the more. The others, the UU friends, all seem so comfortable with the messiness of life, with questions that lack answers, with open-ended situations. They recognize that the moment is all any of us have.
And not only did they accept my chaotic life, they asked me to join the church in relevant ways. I was honored to speak about winter solstice and gave a children's story.
I was invited and re-invited to join groups at the church. I hesitated, sure that no one wanted to get involved with me, here for who knows how long or not, and now certainly leaving. But even with Huck in Spokane, P called me to ask me to join her group anyway. And so did L! And they both said, "We're just happy to know you and fellowship with you for as long as we can." I don't think they said this because I'm so spectacularly amazing. I think it reflects their understanding of life and it's flow. It's about taking joy and pleasure in other, here and now, not about forming 30 year commitments. We know and love people for as long as we have them, and we can't demand any more than that from life.
My writer's group is the same. When they found out I was leaving, they didn't assume I shouldn't make it to the next meeting. Instead, they asked how many more months they "got me" for.
There are people here, on this earth, that get it, get the moment, get life, get the sublime mess and perfect chaos of it all. And from out of this they bring forth and create love and respect and caring towards others. It's daring and beautiful. It's god-esc.