Top Ten Signs You Might be a Bored Housewife
10) You'd actually consider an affair with Bob the Builder. He's so cute in those over-all and hard hat. He's so nice to Wendy! And since he landed the contract for Sunflower Valley, he's Eco too!
9) "A barrel of monkeys" is no longer a euphemism for fun, but is realistically a stupid Christmas gift played with for five minutes picked up for several years.
8) You dream neither in black and white, nor in color, but in cotton balls, paper plates, glue, and popsicle sticks.
7) Soap operas are so 80's. They're called blogs now.
6) Quiet time is reading a book on a lounge chair (while children roll all over you, mewling about boredom).
5) When your husband comes home, you actually ask him how his day went just so you can hear someone speak clearly in a well moderated tone of voice.
4) Even if they are just bills, you love getting the mail. It's your big adventure of the day: sneaking all the way to the end of the drive way, crossing the street, and opening a secret compartment where the secret car with the official light on top drops you secret messages. So thrilling.
3) The last person who cried out your name during sex was not even in the room with you, but was down the hall and needed a glass of milk.
2) You would actually blog about the top ten qualifications you have for the job of "bored housewife".
1) Ten? I'd rather go do the dishes…