Homeschooling is awesome. The chickens are free-ranging. The garden is tucked in. I've just wiped out my kids' entire stock of Halloween Almond Joy's. We saw Bugs Bunny at the Symphony. Life is good.
But what's really great are trees. I don't know what's with me lately...or maybe I've always been like this. Yes, I think I have. But it's really pronounced these days. Trees. I am totally in love. "Mom! STOP talking about trees!" "Mom! Watch the road not the trees!" Everywhere. Every hour. Every moment I'm gaga about trees. And this long fall has been the best. But it started even before that. All summer. All spring. I don't know what it is, but those trees are really getting to me.
Is it because we lack trees here? We've got two pines, three or four aspens, and three baby cherries, not to mention the 30 we planted but still can't see over the grass I never mowed. Am I suffering tree-envy? Is it because I'm still shopping for trees? Why do people pick the trees they do as their land mates? Is it their forms? Their colors? And, oh god, the way they move in the wind. I love them grouped with their friends. I love them grouped in contrasting diversity. And I even love them singularly.
They're so humanoid. Similarly life-spanned. Tall-ish. Reaching-ish. They have distinctive rhythms.
I checked out books about trees. Dangerous trees. A global history of trees. And they're so dry compared to the real thing. I returned the books before I was even done, disappointed they weren't bringing me closer to trees. I guess I wanted an interview with them. I want to hear their voices. Hear their hearts beating. I don't think I want to know About trees. I just want to be with them all the time. I like to touch them. I confess, I do hug them. I've named them. I've talked with them. I had pet trees in middle school. Consultant trees.
I loved to draw trees, back in the day. Their patterns would emerge and I would feel their pulse in that...dare I say spirit.
I choke up when I see power-line mutilated trees. Trees disfigured by human will and hubris. Not bonsai necessarily, although I am no fan, but the carelessly hacked trees.
I don't know what's going on here with me and trees. I don't understand it. I thought those books would clear it all up for me. But I couldn't even read them. I wondered if maybe I would find a career in trees, if that's what is going on. But I don't think so. I'm not talking about something that has to do with a W-2 form. It would be like trying to find a career in loving your spouse. What I know "for sure" is that I am enchanted. I am a slobbering fool for trees. I don't understand it, but it's been going on for a while now. My family is growing tired of my demands to "Just LOOK AT THAT TREE! OH MY GOD!".
I don't think I'm going crazy. I mean, it's not like the trees speak English to me. And I don't think I AM a tree. Entirely.