|Huck models proper Christmas posture|
Anonymous Interviewer: So, Life, What's up with today? I think, on behalf of Sarajoy, you've got some 'xplaining to do.
Life: Listen, I'm tired of that cry baby complaining that life is so so boring. She does it every year at this time, all through January and February. Now I ask you, is that some way to start the New Year? And Boring? Boring? I've been tossing crap, good and nasty both, at her for the past couple months. Can't she see past her nose?
AI: I think maybe she's feeling like she's boring and her life is boring.
|The neighbor geese live it up|
AI: So, you feel like you're helping her?
Life: Uh... yeah. What does it look like? And I keep trying to tell her that life, that I (frankly, it IS ALL about me!) am interesting no matter what she does. She is not the originator of novelty, she doesn't have to instigate to experience. She CAN lay around all day nursing her poor little booboo noggin and I can do all the work. Examples:
*On her first day out she found the wallet of a man newly sprung from prison who then roughed her up. EXCITING! And she learned a lot about it which she hopes to blog about soon.
|Oma in Christmas stockings|
*Then two days later, her 40 year old dishwasher (the machine one) exploded and she got a new one to match the oven. And she's spent two weeks doing dishwasher experiments involving baked on pesto. Her new dishwasher cleans so well and so quietly that she's having a hard time leaving her kitchen to get rest. And she's suddenly realized that perhaps the reason her kitchen used to be so messy is because her tools didn't work.
*And did I mention her family came to visit? They planned, cooked and cleaned up every meal and also cleaned all her floors. Christmas was awesome.
|The floor sweeper and the chef|
*She got to go to a mellow New Years Party and celebrate New York style, not even missing her bed time.
*And she watched a sledding party from the window with her wassel.
*But then she went to the Board meeting last week, because she was "bored," she cried. Boohoo. And she was so exhausted when she got home she had her first ever (and only!) seizure which she thought was an major earthquake and she said, with less sadness than she felt was appropriate: "Ooops, there goes Seattle, Sploosh!" And now she has to go to neurological rehab.
*She got enough energy to go to Kellogg to visit Huck and discovered one of the best restaurants in the Inland NW: The Moose Lodge, despite it's name and font and mascot, the food was surprising, perfect, made from scratch, AMAZING.
* Her 92 year old grandfather died too! She's in no condition to haul 2 kids over snowy mountain passes 14 hours round trip, for a funeral, but she did contribute a well appreciated poem that was read at his funeral. Yeah, 92, not surprising, but she'll never see him again, so it's still sad. And what's more change/flow/intensity than death, eh?
|Christmas morning, with fog|
AI: So you're saying her life is not boring, nor can it be, even if she is not an active participant?
Life: Duh. This whole thing started when she was STANDING in the doorway between the unbelievably unthrilling rooms of kitchen and dining. I mean, the girl wasn't snowboarding, or skydiving, or even having wild sex. She was STANDING! Which pretty much says it all right there.
AI: Explain this morning.
|Coyote wears his favorite jacket for the 3rd grade musical|
AI: So you were just trying to make her happy?
|The two on the left are no longer with us.|
Life: The girl says, "I'm bored. I want something exciting to happen!" Something exciting happens and now she's all, "That sucked! What the hell is going on here! I quit!" Boohoo. Go take a nap you prissy little sphincter.