Monday, January 19, 2009

All for One

No, this isn't an MLK or inauguration post.
This is about the shitter, the can, the piss pot, the bathroom.
This is about a family of 4 with butt one toilet.

Is it too late to warn you that this post contains stupid potty humor? The easily queasy and offended should check back another day.

One toilet is actually more than I really want. I would prefer an outhouse. At Feral Farm, we just take a shovel to the woods. That's my favorite place to shit. Or barf. But there are laws against that sort of "natural" stuff.

We live in civilized lands, and I have to accept some number of toilets.
I actually like just the single crapper.
1) The clean towels are Always in the bathroom you're using.
2) One can monitor the store of TP with ease, never erroneously assuming there's plenty in the other bathroom. And
3) my favorite: there's only one bathroom to clean.

But we have mutiny in the ranks.
Coyote, "I want two toilets."
Blue, "I miss the other bathroom. Why can't we just attach a second toilet to this one? Like with a hose or something?"
Me, "Talk to the landlord. I'll unlock the door when I'm done done with my bath."

Having to hold it and dance until someone finishes their stinky business is NOT helping Coyote's potty training fiasco/saga. And we all seem to be on the same elimination schedule, which is remarkably inconvenient (among other things).

Buck up, kids. I say. There are people in this world who would dance in line all night long to crap in water clean enough to drink.

Huck begs me to refrain from unleashing my full set of international bathroom horror stories on the kids. They give me nightmares still. And he's worried it might give them nightmares. Although I suspect he just doesn't want to hear them and is hiding behind the "it's for the children," excuse.

The happiest tale I have is about "going" in the Kremlin. As with most happy tales, it's not much of a story. Just clean, blue and white tiles, the usual attendant. No wading through stuff, no crowd trampling, no ostentatious missing of the squatty potty... nothing. Just clean and nice. Maybe we need an attendant at home...then the kids will be happy.

For now, it's One for All and All for One little crapper. Wish us luck.

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