Thursday, January 29, 2009


I joined the 21st century the other day and it's name is Facebook. I've got vertigo now with the sudden lack of interest I have in people I've formerly known. I've been haunted for years by memories of all the students with whom I shared that horrific initiation rite we call high school. And now that I've seen their photos and know they exist I'm satisfied.
Do I want them to find me? NO.
Do I want to hear of their every thought and activity? NO.
Do I want to know that "Amy is frustrated with her iphone right now."? NO.
Do I want them to have access to all my friends and relatives? NO.
Do I want to have the temptation to tell them all that "Sarajoy is cleaning her toilet right now."? NO!

The blog venue hasn't really harvested the communications with friends that I was hoping for. I've been frustrated to know that people are reading and not know who or what they think about what I've said. And yet, here comes Facebook, with all the anonymity of a colonoscopy. And all the depth of a cookie sheet. Facebook, as far as I can tell, is inane chat central. If blogs are mostly empty blather, then Facebook is all about hollowed out small-talk. Small-talk is fine. If I have to do it, I can. But as anyone who's spoken to me cara a cara knows, I'm going to get to the real stuff as quick as I can, probably too quickly. And that's not going to happen on Facebook.

If it was just about the people currently in my life, I could do that, easy, without this queasy sensation in my spine. These people love me, I know. These people know the shit creek I'm up right now, and they love me, anyway. They didn't know me back when, back when they talked smack, back before we'd all grown up, back before I only hung out with people whose hearts are filled with love.

Understand, I went to two high schools, as opposite as they come, and I didn't have a place in either one. The first was huge and I was lost in the crowd, unable to explore or express any talents I may or may not have had, out shone as I always was. These kids all went on to subject each other to bonding dramas I know not what.

At the second, a private school in South Carolina, I was the freaky naked girl, meaning I wore neither make-up nor nude pantyhose. I founded the drama club, the debate team and the literary magazine, but that just made me even more freaky, the freak organizer. And all these kids had been together since kindergarten. And they're all hard core religious.

I have been so curious about all these folks for so long. And now, I don't care. In fact, I care deeply about not being privy to their most shallow and inane thoughts. And me not sharing mine with them.

I don't know how you find my Facebook page. But you can. If you want. I'll be your friend.


  1. Hi Sarajoy,

    One of the biggest ways to get people to communicate with you through your blog is to comment on blogs that you like. Link to posts that you like as well. Most bloggers have a way to see how people got to their page and who is linking to them. That will send traffic through your profile link to look at yours and people will be more open to commenting once they know you will acknowledge them.

    On my first blog, when living in Thailand, it took about a half a year before I had a high amount of "hits". High meaning over 100 a day, which isn't high for many sites, but was high for me. Now, because of what I write about AND the fact that I don't network as much, only maybe 20 people. And I get hardly any comments...because I stopped commenting as much.

    Oh, and on the Facebook deal... I found the "delete" key wonderful. It is interesting to see where my friends are at, but it is even better to know that I can wait another 15 years to find out again.


  2. Lady Q! Thanks for the advise. I'm the only person I know that has a blog, other than you, now.



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